Whatever normal is, it still isn’t here. Stuck in a pandemic with a new season approaching. COVID has made the year go fast and it won’t stop the year changing seasons. So for people like me who love summer and can feel it slipping away here is a poem to help us cling to joy.
It's only late summer, August not quite ended. So why am I letting it bother me so? Stealing my joy with autumn pending.
The nights are getting longer, The daylight hours shorter. Counting down to the shortest day, Instead of making the most of the sun, And all the fun it brings.
Leaves are turning golden brown, And falling all around. The summer heat fading fast, Faithful when in need.
There is no reason I should feel this way, Doom and depression, try seeping into cracks.
Seasons come and seasons go, But my God remains the same. So faithful,providing joy, My strength,my hope,my all.
Whatever the season, Jesus fill me with your joy. Let the dark fade to dust, And light shine all around.
Let the reds,golds and browns of autumn leaves sparkle, Let them crack and snap as we snuggle and jump on them.
May the crisp air bring the stars, Lights leading us home, As we countdown to Christmas, Celebrating your birth.
Summer,autumn,spring And winter, Jesus your our only king, With us every day, helping us find the way, And providing limitless joy.
So I saw the word progress pop up and thought “Nah too difficult, to hot think I will leave it”
I then decided to sit in the garden and for lunch and looking at some flowers it made me think about progress.
The flowers in the photo above were brought and picked out by my husband in a garden clearance section for £2. I was obviously very ashamed of these flowers and didn’t think they would last or were worth taking a photo off at the beginning.
The flowers when brought were barely alive. They had one bloom falling off and the leaves were brown and wilted for days. I am now fascinated how they are flourishing and progressing in their blooming. Every time I thought they had fully bloomed they hadn’t.
My plant has progressed through belief from my husband they they were worth saving. Through planting in great compost and nurturing they are reaching their potential.
Remind you of anything?
Dear Jesus I thank you that you love me so much I am worth saving. I thank you that you nurture me and help me achieve all I was created for. Thank you that you never give up on me. You provide my every need. I blossom and bloom not just once but day after day with your attendance. Help me to continue to grow in you. Help me to reach others that feel they are not worth saving realise how loved they are by you, And let them blossom and bloom into a the creation they were born for. Amen
Dear Jesus, You are my rock, My king, my heart. You have my attention.
Please bless my day with hope and joy. May peace flow and mercy reign in my being today.
Let work be peaceful and protect my mind and tongue. May my words be kind, encouraging and bring your joy to all around me.
In a virtual world let me spread your joy faster than my broadband speed.
In this pandemic you are my hope. Let me find joy in the news and hope for a cure. Please Lord Jesus, let this virus flee at your command. Let the doubters stand in disbelief by all your about to do. Let your joy surround the earth and all the praise go to you.
I started this blog because I’m not perfect. As a Christian I know I will never be perfect. I am not here to judge or preach. I just want to encourage others letting you know that you are not alone. That we all struggle with emotions at times.
This week I have struggled. The thing with depression & anxiety is it sneaks up on you. You know you are loved, you trust God completely for every situation and know that he won’t let you down.
But as your standing on your rock, your firm foundation, fully clothed in your armour of God. Your eyes are focused on deflecting all arrows. The wind of destruction is gale force 7 around you, while swaying your eyes are still on the cross.
Depression and anxiety move in. They are sneaky, they know your already focusing on too much and sneak in under your the radar, while your balance is wobbling.
They start whispering in your ear. Making you compare yourself to others. Telling you, your no good. You turn off, try not to listen, then they go for the kill. They use someone else to hit the final blow. In my case this happened at work. Anger rises you lose your cool. You get upset you have failed again.
There’s too much noise in your head, static, lies, anxiety and stress. Depression then kicks the ball into the goal. 1- nil and your not on the winning side.
This is where I start to feel I’m going nuts, off kilter, unbalanced, useless and unhappy. I start to listen to the lies
Worship music is helping but it’s not breaking the chain. It’s sticking a plaster on the pain.
I pray for the spirit it seems so far. I need your fruit that covers this all. More love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. It feels so far away.
In the UK we are still church online. Even though I am not the most social of people, I am starting to miss the church family connection in person, hugs and praying together. We do this online but it’s not quite the same.
I struggle through worship, the sermon I’m a mess. Mainly in tears, praying, repenting desperate for a touch.
The sermon is over, barely heard a word! (I will go back and listen) The thing about our church is though that we communicate during the service and words are read out at the end.
Someone sent in a word today, for someone that needs a difficult conversation at work and that is anxious about this. God’s favour is on you. This sounds like me. Only time will tell. However I lean into God and something happens, something that I have struggled with all week.
Peace is with me. God is with me. God is good. The battle may not be over but it is now going in the right direction. Peace is getting stronger and flowing.
May God help you find peace today.
Dear Jesus, You are our rock. The world seems crazy at the moment,like every thing is bonkers. Please stay close with your Sprit, and let your fruit grow within us. Let us be your beacon of light and listen only to you. Steady us when we wobble and stray and keep our eyes only on you. Amen.
Do you ever feel really on top of the world one minute. Everything is under control. Everything is happy, then all of a sudden it’s like someone came over and blew out the flame that was burning within you. Whoosh all life has drained from you and you can’t seen to get the flame to re-ignite. There is absolutely no reason why you feel the way you do.
You just sit there going through the motions, overthinking every little thing. I shouldn’t of done that and have I upset them. I’ve messed up again. A tsunami of anxiousness comes flooding over you, drowning your peace and wiping away all reason and clarity.
A crowded mind leaves no space for a peaceful heart.
The truth is you most probably haven’t done anything. Your perception filter has just stopped working. It is easy to get caught up in the wave, desperately clinging onto a branch of safety rather than seeing the truth.
While thinking about what to do to snap me out of this mood, like going for a walk and eating ice cream or sitting down with God and doing some writing. It made me think. Not over think, but reflectively think.
Do I do this to the Holy Spirit all the time? As soon the Holy Spirit and I build up a relationship from a spark into a fire do I come along and quench it? When I get anxious about what I need to do, am I pouring water onto the fire, making it sizzle and smoke? When I say a nasty thing about someone or something do I just have embers smouldering? Am I endangering putting out the fire for good.
Do not quench the Sprit
1 Thessalonians 5:19
Most mature Christians know we grieve the Spirit and the flame within us does sometimes fizzle and crackle. 1 Thessalonians gives us a warning not to let the fire be quenched. We need to learn to manage these moments of anxiousness and unreason and not let the tsunami of doubt quench our spirit.
In these times I would urge you to pray and do something you enjoy doing with God. Whether this is eating unicorn ice cream (Oh yes I did), walking, gardening or worshiping.
Let God rekindle your spirit immediately. Maybe he is using the time to draw closer.