Why Jesus do you bother with me
You never give up
Or leave me alone
You stand by my side in every fight
Pick me up when I'm down
Send peace when I frown
My mental health is low today
I love my imaginary pet
More than people
We all deserve your wrath
Yet patience rules within your heart
You bother with me and everyone
Because you love us so
So much so you died for us
conquered death and rose again
Please take this gloom
And turn it round
Let your love and peace
Rule in my heart
Let me step in time with your spirit
Sharing your love with all
Whether or not people believe in you.
Whatever normal is, it still isn’t here. Stuck in a pandemic with a new season approaching. COVID has made the year go fast and it won’t stop the year changing seasons. So for people like me who love summer and can feel it slipping away here is a poem to help us cling to joy.
It's only late summer,
August not quite ended.
So why am I letting it bother me so?
Stealing my joy with autumn pending.
The nights are getting longer,
The daylight hours shorter.
Counting down to the shortest day,
Instead of making the most of the sun,
And all the fun it brings.
Leaves are turning golden brown,
And falling all around.
The summer heat fading fast,
Faithful when in need.
There is no reason I should feel this way,
Doom and depression,
try seeping into cracks.
Seasons come and seasons go,
But my God remains the same.
So faithful,providing joy,
My strength,my hope,my all.
Whatever the season,
Jesus fill me with your joy.
Let the dark fade to dust,
And light shine all around.
Let the reds,golds and browns of autumn leaves sparkle,
Let them crack and snap as we snuggle and jump on them.
May the crisp air bring the stars,
Lights leading us home,
As we countdown to Christmas,
Celebrating your birth.
Summer,autumn,spring And winter,
Jesus your our only king,
With us every day, helping us find the way,
And providing limitless joy.
I started this blog because I’m not perfect. As a Christian I know I will never be perfect. I am not here to judge or preach. I just want to encourage others letting you know that you are not alone. That we all struggle with emotions at times.
This week I have struggled. The thing with depression & anxiety is it sneaks up on you. You know you are loved, you trust God completely for every situation and know that he won’t let you down.
But as your standing on your rock, your firm foundation, fully clothed in your armour of God. Your eyes are focused on deflecting all arrows. The wind of destruction is gale force 7 around you, while swaying your eyes are still on the cross.
Depression and anxiety move in. They are sneaky, they know your already focusing on too much and sneak in under your the radar, while your balance is wobbling.
They start whispering in your ear. Making you compare yourself to others. Telling you, your no good. You turn off, try not to listen, then they go for the kill. They use someone else to hit the final blow. In my case this happened at work. Anger rises you lose your cool. You get upset you have failed again.
There’s too much noise in your head, static, lies, anxiety and stress. Depression then kicks the ball into the goal. 1- nil and your not on the winning side.
This is where I start to feel I’m going nuts, off kilter, unbalanced, useless and unhappy. I start to listen to the lies
Worship music is helping but it’s not breaking the chain. It’s sticking a plaster on the pain.
I pray for the spirit it seems so far. I need your fruit that covers this all. More love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. It feels so far away.
In the UK we are still church online. Even though I am not the most social of people, I am starting to miss the church family connection in person, hugs and praying together. We do this online but it’s not quite the same.
I struggle through worship, the sermon I’m a mess. Mainly in tears, praying, repenting desperate for a touch.
The sermon is over, barely heard a word! (I will go back and listen) The thing about our church is though that we communicate during the service and words are read out at the end.
Someone sent in a word today, for someone that needs a difficult conversation at work and that is anxious about this. God’s favour is on you. This sounds like me. Only time will tell. However I lean into God and something happens, something that I have struggled with all week.
Peace is with me. God is with me. God is good. The battle may not be over but it is now going in the right direction. Peace is getting stronger and flowing.
May God help you find peace today.
You are our rock.
The world seems crazy at the moment,like every thing is bonkers.
Please stay close with your Sprit, and let your fruit grow within us.
Let us be your beacon of light and listen only to you.
Steady us when we wobble and stray and keep our eyes only on you.
Life seems to be a battle at the moment.
Too many grey clouds in my head.
The enemy has found a crack in my armour,
An arrow of lies seeping into my mind.
But lies have no substance,
And aren't from my God.
A God who sent his Son for me, to die for truth and liberty.
A lie binds and holds you back.
It has no basis, no love no future.
It wants to keep me chained & depressed.
Making me think lifes no good.
Making me think I'm no good.
I call out for my saviour,
Let him remove the fear,
With a cross of love,accepted in my heart so sincere.
A weapon to smash all chains, so that I can see the truth appear.
I am more than Ok,happy and blessed.
The fuzziness starts to fade in my head,
as I remember I am so loved.
I am unique, not like you, and for that matter you are not like me,
For we are all created and loved individually.
The truth can only smash the lies,
As I pray for the fruit of the Spirit,
To bring me joy, peace patience and more,
And the clouds in my head disappear.
I am a child of God, loved, blessed, free and held.
I am only encouraged by all the truth brings,
As I open my eyes and let the light in.
Let me be the lamp of encouragement, I was made to be.
So if your feeling low today,
Know that you are special,loved and free.
You are worth EVERYTHING to the one who set you free.
Tell the lies you are worth it all the the man who died on the cross for you.
For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth.2 Corinthians 13:8